We have Steve Carell's next comedy vehicle all squared away.
Meet Patrick, the world's oldest living wombat, a virgin, who celebrates his 29th birthday this month.
Chatter about the chaste wombat, who lives at Australia's Ballarat Wildlife Park, ramped up this week when Australia.com's Facebook page posted a message in honor of Patrick's birthday on Sunday.
"Happy Birthday Patrick the Wombat! This 29-year-old is the world's oldest living wombat. Given that Patrick has never had children, or any partners in general, probably makes him the oldest living wombat virgin as well! Congrats mate!"
Patrick has lived well beyond the animal's typical life expectancy – in the wild they usually live until about 5, in captivity to around 20 – and at a whopping 84 lbs., he is the largest of his kind known to man, according to Australia.com.
But just because Patrick hasn't had any luck with the ladies doesn't mean his life has been any less exciting. For years, he sat in a wheelbarrow and greeted visitors – including celebrities like Nicolas Cage, Kim Cattrall and Kirstie Alley – to the park. Now, in retirement, he has lots of leisurely days in his pen.
"Birthday hugs for me! I'm 29 woohoo," reads a post on his own Facebook page. "Please come say happy birthday to me this week … carrots accepted!"
