There are dogs. And then there are Dachshunds.
Doxies. Wiener dogs. Sausage pups. They look weird, they act even weirder. And some things they do just can’t be explained other than with a shrug and the words, “It’s a doxie thing.”
Here are 19 Things Only Doxie Parents Understand.
1. The mutherpuppers don’t shut up.
Maybe the length of their bodies stretches their vocabulary too. I’ve heard some noises come out of my doxie I didn’t think existed on the spectrum of sound.
2. Say goodbye to your neatly kept lawn. Or houseplant. Or cushions they think are earth.
Image via Dog Shaming.
Have paws. Will dig. That’s the doxie motto.
3. They have a whole song devoted to them.
And sometimes, you croon it to them as a lullaby.
4. There is always the word “selective” in front of “listening.”
Command a dachshund? HA.
5. You have to constantly check blankets. Sweaters. Under cushions.
Because those wriggly little suckers burrow like no tomorrow.
6. Those little legs are surprisingly fast.
Turbo wiener!
7. For a bunch of stubby legged sausages…
Image via Little Sausages Blog
They can JUMP.
8. They sometimes overestimate their capabilities.
And it will give you gray hairs. (That delicate back! Argh!)
9. They give the word stubborn a new definition.
And no one will else will get why you’re arguing with a dog about getting your darn pillow back.
10. They can walk perfectly fine on leash.
Image via Bustle
They just choose not to.
11. Their farts smell like garbage.
Image via Dog Shaming and YouTube
Well, think of what they eat. Not what you feed them. WHAT THEY EAT.
12. They have one thought: FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!
13. Their lying-ahem, acting is better than Meryrl Strep’s.
And they know they’re deserve the Oscar.
14. There’s such a thing as a sideways run.
And it’s hilarious.
15. Sitting is interpretative.
Image via Reddit
And it doesn’t always involve a butt on the ground.
16. If there’s a spare human body part anywhere….
Image via reddit
They will sit on it.
17. They may go bald.
Image via Celebrity Dachshund
So now you have a legit excuse to stick them into adorable jackets.
18. Wiener puns will become part of your daily routine.
It’s probably the only time random strangers will point and squeal, “wiener!” and it’s ok.
19. Once you go Dach, you don’t go back. Because their love, snugs, and loyalty are unmatchable. 
